Chances are you will have an elderly relative in senior living at some point in your life. According to a recent study, there are over 810,000 Americans currently residing in assisted living. Although the need is becoming more common, the transition to senior living can be challenging—not just for the older adult, but for the family as well.
Many families struggle with feelings of guilt and apprehension as they move their loved one into senior living. These emotions can be especially overwhelming in the first few weeks, but the benefits are well worth it. Seniors in Assisted Living enjoy a maintenance-free lifestyle, surrounded by new friends and dedicated teams attending to their needs, if and when they need it. Many senior living communities are central to shopping and medical facilities, and there is an abundance of activities to choose from. At The Montera, an MBK Senior Living Community, Director of Sales Connie DeLost shared a resident’s recent experience.
“Like many grandparents, she is absolutely in love with her Grandson,” Connie began. “She is always looking for ways to entertain him so he will continue to visit her. One of her favorite things to do with him is visit our gorgeous koi pond, which always has food available for family members to feed them.
They spend quite a bit of time together, just the two of them, chatting about whatever he wants as they feed the koi. It’s not necessarily about the fish—it’s about the one-on-one time she has with him and the fact he always wants to visit. After their “koi pond experience,” they will usually have lunch together, along with her son and his wife. I can tell she has a true connection with him, and he is the shining star in her life.
That visit is all she needs, and I love hearing her stories every time he has been here.”
Making the Most Out of Visits to See Your Loved One in Senior Living
Here are some tips for taking full advantage of your trips to see your loved one in senior living:
- Have a Positive Attitude. The first few visits to see your loved one can be emotionally taxing, and that’s normal. Even if you feel uncomfortable or sad during your first few visits, do your best to keep the visit as light and cheerful as possible. Being positive is beneficial for their well-being. Enjoy the time you have together and find the positive in what they share with you as well. Most of all, be present. Don’t spend your time looking at your phone.
- Come Bearing Gifts. Bringing a gift bag of goodies can not only give you something to talk about but can help trigger memories as well. Perhaps they love magazines, books, or puzzles. You can also bring photos and things that could help to trigger memories.
- Use Your Time Wisely. When visiting your senior loved ones, it's important to commit to spending uninterrupted quality time with them. It's a good idea to silence your phone and avoid responding to calls or texts, and to ask your children to be respectful and give their undivided attention. Remember that your loved one is looking forward to your visit, so stay for a reasonable length of time. It's a common mistake to feel pressured to stay for a long visit, but this may be tiring for your loved one. Instead, focus on quality over quantity. A short but sweet visit is far better than a long but boring visit that nobody enjoys. Don't restrict yourself to a timeline, let the visit flow naturally.
- Choose Appropriate Activities. One thing you can consider doing during your visit with your loved one is taking a walk together if the weather is nice and they are physically able. Walking is a great way to get some exercise and have a conversation at the same time, which is good for both the body and the mind. You might also want to share your thoughts with your loved one. They care about you and are interested in what you have to say. You could even confide in them, as their life experiences and stories may offer valuable guidance for your own life and decisions. Reminiscing about past experiences can be enjoyable for both of you and looking at old family photos may help to spark some memories. Just keep in mind that your loved one may not be able to respond or remember everything.
- Be Understanding. When visiting your senior parents, it's important to put yourself in their shoes. We all experience aging, and it can be difficult to communicate or engage in activities. Your loved ones may not remember you or may not want to spend time together. While frustrating, it's important to practice patience and accept whatever happens during the visit. Even if it doesn't go as planned, it can still be an enjoyable experience for both of you.
- Bring Others. When you bring your children to visit your father or mother, it can be a wonderful experience for everyone involved. Your children have the opportunity to learn about their family history in a tangible way, which can help them understand their origins. Meanwhile, your parent can gain valuable insight into the challenges faced by young people today and engage in lively conversations that keep their mind active and their social skills sharp. Remember to prioritize quality time over length of time and allow the visit to flow naturally.
Moving a loved one into a senior living community is a significant change for everyone involved. Although it may give you peace of mind to know that your loved one is safe and well-cared for, they will undoubtedly need time to adjust to their new environment. This includes meeting new people, adapting to a new routine, and getting used to a new living space. Even after your loved one has settled in, it's crucial to schedule routine visits. Staying socially connected is one of the most important things seniors can do to maintain their quality of life, and a visit from family members can help prevent feelings of loneliness and isolation.
